


Did you notice?

by Hollow_Void



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Confused Lance, Depressed Keith, Forgetting, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Multi, PINING KEITH, Pain, Self Harm, Torture, allurance to begin with, coran is like a dad to keith, cosmo is there too, hurt keith, i am so sorry keith, i will add more tags later if needed, im so sorry keith, it gets reall sad, mentions of torture, oblivious lance, sad keith, some memory problems later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-01-14 15:51:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18479431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollow_Void/pseuds/Hollow_Void
Summary: After arriving back to Earth, things changed. people got together and others tried to disappear. Keith loves Lance but Lance likes Allura.After a mission goes wrong, it spirals Keith into a void of pain and depression, causing him to believe that everything would be better if no one remembered him.“Shiro and the others are on their way, stay down there. I don’t think you will be able to get the both of you back up there safely. I don’t want you getting hurt.” She smiled softly at Lance, a blush creeping up on her cheeks.Keith noticed this and frowned again, turning his head to Lance to see his reaction. He was blushing too, scratching the back of his neck. An action he only does when flustered or shy.“She takes everything I want.” Keith mumbled to himself, not knowing if Lance had heard what he said.





	1. Unstable Anomaly

**Author's Note:**

> Yo what's up y'all. I come back after forever without writing cause I have so much going on at the minute. I have some other fics i'm working on but I have had this one since before the last season.  
> So I wrote this before I watched the season.  
> Dunno when updates will happen but i will try to as quick as possible!  
> Hope you enjoy!!

The paladins were back on Earth, back home with their families and friends. However, the luxury could only be short lived as they had to fight the Galra and now rebuild Earth once again. Pidge had their entire family back, with Matt bringing back an alien partner to introduce to everyone. 

Hunk’s parents were safely found and rescued, bought back to the Garrison to support their son while he was in the hospital wing. However, word on his siblings was still unknown, as they were separated and held in a different place to their parents. Sometimes, the other paladins could hear Hunk whispering to his parents: 

“We are going to find them.”

Shay had also travelled to Earth with the others, after word of Voltron returning had travelled across the universe. Tentative touches and longing stares signified the start of a new relationship for the pair.

Shiro, now given the time to grieve over the loss of Adam, had taken some time off to think and relax. He hadn’t been able to truly sit back since before the Kerberos mission. He had also been helping with the commanders at the Garrison to aid in training and teaching the students and pilots there. 

Lance and Allura had been dancing around each other. Something had obviously changed since the battle, they seemed closer then before. Small smiles and blushing cheeks whenever they saw each other. Gifts and other small shows of affection given to each other. Outings around Earth with only each other. Even the way that they seemed to be standing closer to one another as well. 

It broke Keith’s heart.

The new black paladin found being back on Earth the hardest. His mother and Kolivan had been there when he woke up from the coma he was in, but disappeared back into the stars a week later. They were working on recovering the Blades of Marmora, gaining new members and strengthening ally bonds. He was stuck with bed rest for at least a week after waking up, but he didn’t listen. Shiro had found him in the training room and helping the citizens with rebuilding only a day after waking. He could not persuade Keith to stop though, knowing that he would just find something else to do instead. 

When Krolia and Kolivan left again, Shiro had to get Keith to stop working or training at night, as the boy would skip sleeping to fight or help. Pidge had noticed the drive of the black paladin and decided to trick him into relaxing, by asking Keith to help them with their tech inventions. Keith would have to sit around until Pidge asked him to test something out. Sometimes, they were able to get Keith to sit for hours, distracting him with facts and thoughts so he didn't go back to abusing his body with over training. Cosmo would sit by his feet and watch on as Pidge did their magic.

It had been a month since they started on the rebuilding of Earth and Keith was out wondering around the forest that lay on the edge of the desert. He would go here to calm down or distract him from reality for a while. Cosmo was with Pidge so that he could be alone for a while, and as the blue wolf seemed to like the green paladin, it would all be okay. The large looming trees and weaving branches were able to calm Keith in a way that felt unnatural and spiritual. He loved it. The silence. The thin mist that carried the moonlight from above in its waves of grey. He loved the way the green grass felt. But most of all, he loved the feeling of being alone here, like he was able to remove himself from everything else in life. From everyone’s life. 

He had found a large oak tree, without the leaves, but with beautiful winding branches that seemed to reach out to the other trees in the area. Linking all pieces of life together. He, too, felt drawn to it. Walking slowly towards it, he pressed his palm on the trunk. A surge of energy shot through his veins, lighting the tree with a deep purple. Galra purple. 

He pulled his hand back quickly and held it in disgust. He wasn’t ashamed of his heritage, and loved his mother and Kolivan and the rest of the BOM. But seeing nature react to it wasn’t something that made him feel safe. He looked back town to his hand to see the familiar purple splotches covering it. It had happened before with raw quintessence, which opened hundreds of questions that Keith wanted answered.

“It called out, I just want to check on it okay?” Allura’s distant voice broke Keith from his haze and sent him into panic. Not wanting to be caught alone in the forest with a weird tree.

He ran behind one of the trees surrounding the oak and hid near the roots, watching as Allura’s white hair floated behind her. She was wearing Earth clothes, a short white dress with pink and gold threads decorating the hem. On her wrist was a gold bangle, given to her by Lance as a present. His words being: “I remembered that you like shiny things.”

Speaking of Lance, he followed behind her, wearing new clothes. He had ditched his favourite jacket for a long sleeve baggy t-shirt with dark blue sleeves which were rolled up to his elbows. He also had new jeans and his hands were in the pockets of them as he watched Allura walk towards the tree.

“It is directly linked to the quintessence of Earth, I want to make sure the tree is stable. It detected an unstable anomaly and called out to me.”

‘Unstable anomaly’ Keith thinks, that's him. Unstable and unwanted in the end. 

Allura rested her hand on the tree and it seemed like the entire forest reacted to her. The fog cleared and the ground seemed slightly brighter. But what really caught Keith’s attention was how the tree itself was glowing a beautiful pure white. Completely different to the dark purple that it emitted earlier. It stung, even more so when Lance walked up to stand behind her and place his hand there as well, tinting the bright white with an ocean blue at the edges. So pure.

The colours were made for each other, together, complementing each other and not clashing, like him and Lance would. He couldn’t watch any more, he didn’t feel calm here any more, he felt hurt and pain. How Lance was so close to her and how she simply blushed in return. With that, he got up and sprinted away, ignoring the confused murmurs that came from the pair. 

Running out of the forest was easier said than done, as darkness painted the ground, hiding roots and rocks from Keith’s sight. He tripped on a branch and went tumbling down a steep hill, shouting in agony as he body took blows from rocks and trees. One of the rocks had hit him in the head, causing the rest of the fall to fade into black. 

Allura heard a shout a little after they both saw a blur of black disappear into the deeper part of the forest. Without hesitation, she grabbed Lance’s arm and dragged him in the direction of the scream. He seemed to catch on though, sprinting ahead of her as something in his mind told him that the voice was familiar. They weaved through the trees, being careful of where they stepped until they were met with a steep drop. Using a branch for balance, Lance lent over the edge to get a view of below. He scanned the floor, not seeing anything that could have made the noise. However, he bayard glowed slightly, letting off a red glow and a small ring like a bell. 

Then Lance saw it.

Deep in the ditch, half buried with rocks and mud was a purple glow, matching they type of noise that his bayard was making. Allura noticed the light and realised that the light cast a glow onto a figure next to it.

Keith was lying on his side, bayard held in one hand wile the other lay motionless near his chest. His legs were curled slightly, making him seem like he was sleeping. But they knew that wasn’t the case. Blood shimmered in various parts of Keith’s body, drips forming on his hairline and around his nose. There were more cuts on his face but they could not see the side with the mysterious scar. From a distance, he looked peaceful, like he belonged in the wilderness.

Lance jumped into action, carefully sliding down the slope to meet with the unconscious boy. On closer inspection, Lance could see a deep gash that ran from his forehead to his temple, nestled within the hairline and partly hidden by Keith’s bangs. There was a high chance that Keith had a concussion, but trying to wake him up didn’t work. His ankle looked sprained but other than that he would be fine.

“Allura, I need you to call for help, I think he has a concussion and his breathing is kinda shallow.” Allura nodded before stepping away from the edge to contact the other paladins to inform them of what happened. 

Lance turned back to Keith, carefully picking his wrist up to check how strong his pulse was, sighing in relief when nothing irregular was felt. Just as he placed his hand back down though, he noticed small purple blotches painting Keith’s hand. A familiar purple that he has seen hundreds of times. He knew about Keith’s heritage, but did not know of the physical side effects that he might endure. Deciding to ignore it for now, he turned his efforts back to trying to wake him up.

He placed a hand onto Keith’s cheek, stroking it carefully with his thumb. He used his other hand to gently shake the boy as well.

“Keith, mullet, you got to get up now. You are scaring me.” He shook a little harder, sighing in relief when he saw Keith’s eyes twitch slightly. “Come on samurai, you got to wake up, you know the rules of a concussion so open those purple orbs for me!”

Keith groaned and peeled his eyes open, only to be greeted by the most beautiful person on the planet. He smiled softly and shuffled a bit so he could place a hand on top of Lance’s, which was still resting on his cheek.

“Hey sharpshooter… Come all the way here to see little old me… I am honoured.” Lance laughed at that which made Keith smile wider, slightly delirious and not thinking right.

“Hey I love that smile. Wish I could see more of it though… You are always, unhappy when I am around.” Keith spoke and laughed as he tried to sit up, wanting to cry in pain as he did so. “It’s okay though, because I know that even if you hate me, you can’t hate me as much as I hate myself.”

Lance pulled away quickly, like he had been burnt. His face fell as he did so. Did Keith think he hated him? He was about to ask about it when Allura appeared over the edge again.

“Shiro and the others are on their way, stay down there. I don’t think you will be able to get the both of you back up there safely. I don’t want you getting hurt.” She smiled softly at Lance, a blush creeping up on her cheeks. 

Keith noticed this and frowned again, turning his head to Lance to see his reaction. He was blushing too, scratching the back of his neck. An action he only does when flustered or shy.

“She takes everything I want.” Keith mumbled to himself, not knowing if Lance had heard what he said.

It took about 10 minutes, but the others had arrived in Green, as they could land safely in the trees without damaging the others or the nature. Shiro and Hunk worked together to get the two out of the ditch while Coran and Pidge set up somewhere to place Keith. 

It didn’t take long for them to make it back to the Garrison. The ride was tense though, as questions about Keith began to rise.

“Why was he there in the first place?”

“He likes to be alone, he probably loves mysterious dangerous walks in the forest.” Pidge spoke up, turning to the others to voice her opinion, keeping a hand on the gears and another on Cosmo’s head.

“Well, if it was so dangerous, why were Lance and Allura there, alone.” Hunk waggled his eyebrows, laughing at the way Lance’s face became more pink. His laughter died down though when Allura’s face did the same.

“I was there a reason.” Keith spoke up from the makeshift bed he lay on. “That place had energy, it makes me feel alive. Like I can feel it in my soul. That place seems to not like me though. Purple glow. Not pure glow. And for your information… I don’t like to be alone. It’s just that people reject me… So I push them away before they leave. Protects me from being let down again.” 

Keith stared into his lap, completely oblivious to the pained stares of his friends. The painkillers had sent him into a state that left him completely vulnerable. 

Lance picked up on the mention of a glow, the pure glow sounded like the one that Allura had created but before he could speak Shiro beat him to it.

“Keith, we talked about this. We are not going to hurt you or leave you.”

Keith stared Shiro straight in the eyes with such venom that it sent a chill through the lion. He then raised his hand and pointed at the scar on his cheek, never breaking eye contact with Shiro.

Shiro physically trembled with fear and worry, knowing exactly how Keith obtained that hideous mark. The other paladins watched with almost horror, as their former, brave leader recoiled so quickly at a singular gesture.

“You left Shiro, remember. More than once. What’s not to say you will do it again, that any of you will leave.” The lion fell into silence, the only sound was Hunk fighting slightly.

“Well, you left as well Keith.” Lance spoke up, making heads turn to him in fear.

“Lance don’t-”

“I left for you Lance. I didn’t want you to leave the team.” Keith’s small voice broke Hunk’s warning. 

“Well, come on Keith, let’s get you back to your hospital room and all patched up!” Coran stopped any other remark to be made by quickly escorting Keith out the lion and into the hospital wing.

Once they were back in the hospital room, Coran got Keith in in sterile clothes and checked out his injuries. The cut on his head wasn’t that deep and the concussion wasn’t as severe as they thought it was. His ankle was twisted but after an ice pack, the swelling reduced significantly. Coran then lowered Keith so that he was lying down and told him to sleep. Cosmo teleported in to curl at Keith’s side, offering comfort in his warmth and his fur. Just as he was about to leave, he heard Keith whisper:

“Thank you for caring for me Coran.”

The next morning, Keith wake jolted awake by an excited voice. Lance had burst into his room singing a song that Keith didn’t recognise.

“Good morning mullet! I have come to wake you up and escort you to lunch.” 

Wait, lunch. Keith turned to his beside table to see that it read 12:30. Keith was confused, he didn’t remember how he got to his room, or how he missed half a day. He was in the forest. Then the weird purple glow. Allura and Lance. White glow. Running. Falling. 

Oh. 

Keith was so embarrassed, he remembered everything he said! But, his embarrassment was quickly pushed down by another feeling. A more familiar feeling. 

“Do you really want an unstable anomaly eating with you guys? Or will I poison the food.” His voice, although tired and strained, was laced with so many emotions that Lance didn’t know what to focus on.

“What do you mean? Allura was talking about that weird tree. How something obviously touched it and… oh.” Of course. Keith touched the tree. The purple glow must have been how it reacted to his Galran heritage. Why his hand was purple when Lance checked him.

Keith didn’t say anything else. He swung his legs very the side of the bed and pushed himself up, ignoring how his entire body protested to the movement. He grabbed his new jacket and left the room. Lance was able to catch up easily though, due to the slow, wavering walk that Keith had pursued. 

“Do you… need any help?” Lance’s voice was quiet and full of empathy. He hated to see Keith like this, but knew that what they said must have hurt. 

“… No. I’m sorry for taking that out on you. I won’t do it again. Let’s just go.” Keith held his head down lower and snaked an arm around his stomach. Not in the mood to eat anything.


	2. Ball of fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sudden call causes Keith to loose everything he had, including himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yasss had this completed just went to check it! here ya goo

Once they got to the dining hall, Lance started talking to everyone while Keith sat silently and picked around his food. When asked if he was okay he just waved them off and carried on pushing food around his plate.

Did they really care about him? Why did he have to be here? Can’t he just train until his body and mind both feel numb?

Caught up in his thoughts he didn’t feel his communicator going off until a couple seconds after it began to vibrate. He pulled it out and noticed it was from his mother. He hit play and heard his mother’s voice through the speaker.

“…Prisoner…A trap… Please… Keith I lo-”

With the voice recording, there was a set of coordinates. Without hesitation he bolted out of his seat and headed straight to the hangar where the Black lion waited. He was so focused he didn’t notice Lance standing in the hangar as he took off into the stars, his blue wolf huddled close to the Cuban’s side.

After exiting the solar system he headed towards the coordinates as fast as he could. Black noticed his anxiety and need to be there so he went as fast as he could. Keith changed into his paladin suit and turned on his coms, instantly being bombarded with the alarmed voices of his teammates. 

“Where is he!”

“Why would he just dart off like that!”

“He received a message from someone at lunch. The person sounded scared.”

“Couldn’t you have told us that before we started panicking Lance!”

Keith sighed before opening his com to everyone else.

“I got a stress signal. It’s important. I will send you coordinates but I am not stopping.” He sent the coordinates and focused all of his energy on getting to his mother.

It was about half an hour before he reached the planet. It was desolate except a large building, which was swarmed with hundreds of Galra soldiers. Just before he was going to attack the building, his screen changed to the face of a Galra. He was a rich purple with large pink and purple ears. His eyes were a piercing yellow and the snarl was gleeful.

“If you attack, black paladin, I can guarantee that your mother will be one of the casualties.” Keith snarled and the commander just laughed in return, turning the message off.

He had two options, attack the prison and hopefully find Krolia before they kill her, or surrender and stall until the others arrive. Sighing in defeat, he lowered the Black lion on the ground and took his bulky armour off, knowing that they would take it and run experiments on the tech. He tested the air and found that it was breathable.

“Guys, I have been captured, sending location again. Left suit in Lion. Hurry.” With that he turned the helmet off and placed the armour in a hidden compartment of the lion. His bayard was also there.

With that, he opened the mouth of the lion and came out with his hands raised. The wind was frozen, affecting him more now that he was only in an under suit. Soldiers surrounded him and chained his arms up, searching for weapons as they did so. They then dragged him into the building, to a cell, where they threw him like a rag doll and undid the restraints. 

The commander walked in, smiling sadistically as he saw Keith lying on the floor.

“Well, if it isn’t the half breed. I’m surprised you came at all after your dear mother warned you about the trap.”

“I held up my part of the deal, where is my mum?”

The commander cackled and waved his hand, two soldiers entered the cell, dragging Krolia behind them. Without any care they threw her in front of Keith. She didn’t move and Keith moved closer to check her.

She was cold to the touch, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Her skin was almost grey, not the purple that he knew. He pressed his fingers to the side of her neck to be greeted by nothing. Her clothes were damaged and soaked in blood. There was blood everywhere, staining her face and hair. No pulse at all. He shook her, hoping it was some kind of sick joke. 

“Krolia… Get up. Mum… Mum get up! Mum wake up please! Come on! Mum no I can’t loose you too!” Tears streamed down his face as his shaking only caused Krolia’s head to loll back and forth. He couldn’t stop the tears, the burning in his eyes at the dead body of his only piece of family. 

“Whoops. Seems like she really couldn’t take that beating after all.”

An animalistic growl left Keith as he stood up and stared at the Commander, who didn’t seem fazed at the fangs or yellow eyes that greeted him. He just smiled, patting his side where the blade that he gave back to Krolia sat. That only enraged him more, sending a bolt of purple across his skin like lightening, marking his veins with violet. In a flash he was at the leader’s side, ripping the dagger from the Galra’s hip and burying it into the side of his neck instead. Listening to his sadistic laughter gurgle with the blood as the life quickly disappeared from his eyes.

There was no stopping him now. He was blind to anything except the need for revenge, stabbing and killing soldiers without hesitation. His growls sounded like a lion, ready to stalk its prey and kill. 

Alarms were going off, warning the guards that a prisoner had escaped. Keith didn’t care though, he only saw it as more blood to spill. 

While Keith was running around the building, the others had arrived on the planet, taking out guards that were outside. They were shooting them where they stood.

Hunk was about to hit one standing by the door when a quick purple blur slashed open it’s neck and darted away. The others noticed it too, watching as the Galra attacked soldier after soldier without hesitation or time to breathe. It was pure instinct.

“Is that-”

“Keith!” Lance shouted and darted out his lion to meet with his friend. 

However, as he approached, Keith turned his head towards him, and started running as fast as he could. He pounced, pushing Lance to the ground and sitting in his lap. Lance blushed but didn’t move, letting Keith do what he had to do. He trusted Keith.

Keith held the blade to Lance’s throat, growling quietly as his conscious cleared. He could hear Lance talking and finally snapped out of it. 

Lance watched as Keith’s pale skin returned, setting his mullet back to black instead of the dark purple it became. He watched as the fangs seemed to get shorter and the yellow tint in his eyes disappeared.

“Welcome back mullet, good to see you.” Lance laughed brushed the excess hair out of Keith’s face and tucked it behind his ear.

“Keith! That was amazing! Terrifying, but amazing.” Hunk ran up to them and held a hand out to Keith.

Keith looked in confusion, before realising that he was still sat on Lance’s lap. Blushing, he let Hunk help him up before holding a hand out to Lance.

“Sorry for, attacking you.” Keith held his head low, gasping when Lance rested a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s cool man. You didn’t mean it. If you don’t mind me asking, what got you to turn like that?”

“Yeah we wanna know. Tell us Keith!” Pidge and the others approached where they were stood.

“Urm, well.” Keith was interrupted by the ground cracking and shaking.

He looked in fear over at the other paladins, who all nodded before running back to their lions. Keith hesitated, looking back at the building where his mother lay motionless inside. He felt so bad that he didn’t lie her in a more comfortable position. Is she comfortable? 

Even if he wanted to run back, a large canyon opened up outside the building, revealing magma rivers beneath. A tear escaped Keith as he turned his back on her and ran to his lion, jumping into the pilot seat and heading off of the planet.

“The planet’s readings are so unstable. It’s going to collapse in on itself! There is another planet in this solar system so we can head there.” Pidge spoke over the communications, alerting everyone to head to the other planet.

Keith looked at the building one more time before turning away and following the others. He broke the atmosphere with Black, eyes darting to the screen that showed the planet slowly fall in on itself. The way the building with his mum disappeared in fire, just like his father. A sob escaped him as he sped up his lion, landing in the nearby moon and stepping out onto the light blue sediment. The others were already there, standing in a line and observing the end of a planet. Pidge was taking notes with Hunk, amazed at having the opportunity to witness the end of a planet in real life. Recording equipment and readers were set up to take record of the event. Coran was standing off to the end alone, as Romelle had stayed back to help continue with the rebuild of the castle. Shiro was watching ‘Team Punk’ curiously, trying to understand how the tech they were using worked. 

Lance and Allura were stood next to Pidge, hand in hand as the blinding lights seemed to cast a low light onto the pair. They looked like a piece of art, with their hair blowing slightly and glowing sand dancing around their feet. It hurt so much to see them like that. To see how even the universe seemed to praise the sudden interest Allura has in Lance. To see Lance smile so softly at anyone except him. 

Every emotion that Keith was able to hold back fell like a tsunami he hung his head down low, sniffling shallowly to make sure he didn’t attract attention. When a hand rested on his shoulder he almost hoped it was Lance, but the Australian like accent that came with the touch showed that it was Coran instead.

“Come on my boy, let’s get you inside Black. You can calm down in there. I guess you don’t want the others to see you like this.” The understanding in his voice made Keith sob a little harder, pulling his hand up to his mouth and nodding, following Coran to the lion.

Their absence was not picked up by the other paladins, sending another wave into Keith. They got inside Black and got comfortable in a pull out section used for sleeping and sitting. Coran led Keith to sit and knelt in front of him. 

“Keith, can you tell me what is the matter?”

Keith opened his mouth and a horrid cry left, followed by fat wet tears running down his cheeks. He shook and pulled up his head, meeting Coran’s eyes. 

“M-My m-mum was in t-there… the c-call was from her… he said he would let her go! But he didn’t I surrendered and they threw her dead body at me. She was cold, dead and I couldn’t help her. He lied to me!” Keith’s stutters were replaced with anger and pain. The emotions were so raw they hurt his throat as he forced them out. 

Coran just looked back, there was sympathy, but not too much. The need for reassurance had claimed Keith like a magnet, a need to feel like he wasn’t going to be left again. He lent forward so that his forehead fell on Coran’s shoulder and he cried again, letting years of bottled up feelings escape him. Coran in return ran his hand up and down Keith’s back like a parent would do to soothe a child. 

“Hey, number 4, how about you lay here for a while while I inform the team of what happened-”

“They can’t know! They can’t!”

Coran seemed to disagree with the idea but complied with the crying boy. He nodded and pulled away. Keith laid down in a ball and shook lightly in fear and pain. Coran found an old blanket and threw it over him to keep him warm and provide a small layer of comfort. He stepped back, knowing that Cosmo would appear, which he did.

“I will come back to check on you later okay.” He patted Keith on the shoulder and headed out of the lion, hearing a faint sob escape the room as Black protectively lifted his jaw to keep the others away.

He walked over to the others, coughing loudly to get their attention. They didn’t hear him at first so he did it louder, making the five turn towards him with confused faces.

“Hey, where did you go? And where did Keith go?” Lance looked around, trying to find the black paladin. 

“He probably went to brood somewhere, he has been acting up since we got back to Earth.” Pidge replied, pointing towards the guarded stance that the Black lion had. 

“He is just being emo Lance, he will chill off soon.” Allura replied, trying to be playful. However, seeing how broken the paladin was earlier, Coran wasn’t going to let them talk like that. 

“Stop it all of you!” Coran’s loud voice startled them, as the shout is something that hasn’t really been heard from him. “He is shook up right now. Remember, over the coms he said he was captured. We didn’t get there until half a varga later. It may not seem long but it’s still enough. His mother sent the signal saying someone she knows was being held there. It was a trap to lure him there. That takes a lot out of someone.” 

The group of paladins seemed guilty in forgetting what he had gone though. They asked if they could go see him but Coran turned down that idea, saying that Keith just needs to rest. Suddenly, a voice travels through the paladin’s head, requesting Coran to Black quickly, but they didn’t know why.

“Coran, the lions are requesting you. They sound scared.”

The orange haired man bolted towards black, who lowered their head quickly to let Coran inside before lifting again. He ran through the halls to find Keith holding his arms in pain. He was slumped against the pilot chair and there was a small amount of blood decorating his pale arms. Coran instantly knew what Keith tried to do and went to find the first aid kit. He grabbed steriliser and bandages before going back to Keith.

“I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to feel.” Keith looked so guilty at what he did.

“Keith, you shouldn’t do this. I know you hurt but this is not the answer. I am not going to shout but try not to okay. What else is on your mind you can talk to me.”

“Mum died and her body fell into a ball of fire. My dad died in a fire when I was a kid. My home was destroyed. I live for fighting and the fight is ending. Lance loves Allura and it’s only a matter of time before I loose him too. Shiro gave me a scar that is a constant reminder of what he said. The repeating words of ‘I should have abandoned you just like your parents did’ or ‘They saw you were broken. Worthless. I should have seen it too’. I have nightmares. I can’t sleep any more because I fear what is behind closed eyes.”

Coran just listened, didn’t interrupt or correct him. He knew that Keith was struggling and this was obviously not everything that was on the boy’s mind, but he couldn’t force him to spill everything. He continued to roll the bandages until they were secure around Keith’s arms. 

“Keith, you live for more than fighting. Sure Lance may like Allura but if you like Lance you should admit your feelings to him. He should know how you feel.” Coran padded his arm and alerted the team that they would be leaving shortly. He said that Shiro would ride with Pidge so that Coran could keep an eye on Keith. The team complied.

The ride home was a blur for Keith, with the only thing he remembered being a fire ball glowing relentlessly in the corner of his screen, and a needy burn in his arms again.


	3. A Lost Astronaut In Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the death of his mother, life begins to look less colourful, leaving Keith in a monochrome world of pain and numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow three chapters in one night! I'm on a role! probably won't see me for like a year but good on me for getting this far!

It had been a couple days since Keith saw his mother for the last time. He has been secretly going to the training room to try and dull the itch that was embedded on his arms. It worked sometimes, but it didn’t really count when he would get hurt in other ways, like a kick to the stomach or a steel stick in the ribs. So he would go back to his room to for fill the burn in secret, hiding them under long sleeves and bandages.

In the middle of one of his sequences his phone buzzed off, seeing Lance’s face pop up on the notifications.

‘Come to my room. I have something to tell you.’

Keith’s heart skipped a beat. Lance wanted to meet him! Could this be his chance to tell him? Could the burn and itch disappear slowly? He grabbed his jacket and ran down the halls, slowing as he reached their halls of residence, where everyone had their own room with a conjoined seating area and kitchen. He turned to where his room was and went next door, as their bedrooms were next to each other.

Lance’s door was open, and the others were in there as well, which Keith didn’t understand because they had a larger seating area.

Then he noticed.

Lance and Allura were sitting on the bed, hand in hand, looking at everyone with a mix of shy and excitement. They had smiles painted on their faces and everyone was already celebrating.

“Hey Keith, you’re late, we just told everyone.” Lance spoke to him and everyone went quiet to turn to Keith in anticipation. “Me and Allura were talking and have decided to give us a try. So, we are together!”

Everyone cheered again but Coran looked over at Keith with sorrow. Keith couldn’t do anything though, he was frozen in his spot, pinned by the stares and expectations. Unconsciously, his right hand moved to his left wrist and he started scratching softly.

“...Congratulations I hope you make each other happy.”

With that Keith bolted from the room, leaving the others to stand in Lance’s room with a mix of confusion and anger.

“He should be proud of us!”

“What just happened?”

Coran just looked towards the door that Keith left through in sadness. He had hoped that Keith would be able to talk to Lance, but just wasn’t quick enough. Coran then remembered what Keith did in Black and debated running after him. 

“Just leave him, he is probably sad that Lance was able to get a girl before him.” Pidge spoke up drawing Coran back to the group.

“I wouldn’t say so, it’s not my place to say but Keith did say he was open about it. He doesn’t swing that way.”

Lance looked up to Shiro in shock. “Keith is gay!”

Shiro nodded, smiling softly at the mention of his brother. “Yeah, however, he has never really dated so it wasn’t really a big deal.”

Coran decided that he would leave Keith to calm down, and try to divert the attention away from him he as well. “So, who asked who?”

Conversation blurted out and the black paladin was forgotten.

Said paladin was not in the building any more, instead he was walking across the barren landscape towards the cemetery where his father was buried. It was a small graveyard, with a tree near where his father’s grave lay. It was a small tombstone with no real fancy pattern, just how he would have wanted. However, that was not the only one he was visiting. Next to this, was a large stone, a little bigger than his foot. On it was his mother’s name, written in his handwriting with a small carving of the blade symbol next to the name. 

Keith knelt down next to the pair of stones and placed a bouquet of flowers in between. He didn’t really know much about flowers but he was able to use ones that were in his hospital room. They were blue and yellow, with a single red rose in the centre. 

“Hey dad, I bought mum back to you. I know how much you missed her. How you would wish on these stars to bring her back. Now you are together again. In the same way. Both gone. Left me behind. Alone. You can be a family again so I am happy for you.”

He shifted to sit in front of them and stared at the small cracks in his dad’s grave. “Did you have to leave me here alone though? Was I just destined to never have a family? Am I made to be alone?” 

“Our family is complete, you are just missing me.”

He cradled his head in his hands and just listened to the rustle of the leaves that dance around the cemetery. As he closed his eyes it was as though the wind that brushed past his body was like a hand, trying to give support. It felt like his father’s strong hold and the wind that danced around him felt like the warm rare embraces he gave his mother. The nostalgia bought another wave of emotion, the need to be touched and comforted because he was deprived for so long. He itch in his skin was stronger than ever and he couldn’t help crossing his arms close to his chest and digging his nails into the top of his arm in a grip. He could feel the skin start to break but it was giving him something to ground him. Something to feel and know is real. He felt his wolf friend appear to his right but was too dissociated to appreciate Cosmo’s concern

Before he knew it, the emotional toll pulled Keith into a deep slumber. That is how Coran found him, shivering in a small ball in front of two gravestones. His head was buried in Cosmo’s fur with his hand gripping it in his hold. He had dried blood staining through his jacket in between his elbow and shoulder. Coran lent down and shook him awake, laughing at the growl that Keith released.

“Come on number 4, let’s get you back to your room. Everyone else has gone to bed so you won’t have to talk to anyone on the way in.” Keith nodded and stood up, stretching like a cat as he did so.

They made their way over to the car that Coran used to drive to the graveyard. It was a complete miracle that he thought of this place when he and Shiro could not find Keith earlier. They clambered in and Keith instantly fell asleep against the window, his head nodding slightly when there was a bump. The wolf curled by his feet, snoring slightly as well. Coran messaged Shiro, telling him that he had found Keith and was bringing him back to the Garrison. He also said that he was asleep in the car and pretty cold. In reply, Shiro said that he would be waiting for them by the entrance so he can help Coran carry Keith.

Coran looked over at Keith, feeling a surge of protection and fear of the boy. He had lost so much that now he didn’t know what he has left. It was unfair that someone with so much potential and love to give feels the need to keep it at bay so that they don’t get hurt. That they believe that anyone who has the chance to give them happiness will just leave them alone in the end. 

The Altean decided that he would look after Keith, would be there for him in any type of parental way he can. He might not be able to do much but he just hopes that any help he can give will be enough to keep Keith safe from harm. From others and himself.

Once they were back at the Garrison, Coran was able to clean up some of the blood from Keith’s upper arms and warm him up with an extra jacket. Shiro headed to the car and opened the door on the younger paladin’s side, pulling him out and carrying him inside. Their quarters were not that far from the entrance so it was easy for the pair to get Keith to his room. When they got to the communal area though, Pidge was sitting in the corner of the sofa with their laptop in their lap. They looked up to see Keith limp in Shiro’s arms and started panicking quietly.

“What’s wrong with Keith? Is he hurt? Why isn’t he moving?” They vaulted the sofa and headed to Keith’s side, taking a pulse and checking his forehead.

“He’s fine Pidge, he’s sleeping. Coran found him asleep in the cemetery, shivering of cold. We are just taking him to bed to settle him down.”

“Is this because of earlier?”

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked, walking through the door Coran opened and laid Keith in his bed. He added an extra blanket to make sure the warmth was kept in and shut the door behind him on the way out.

Shiro sat next to Pidge on the sofa with Coran on the edge facing the pair. 

“When Lance told Keith about him and Allura, Keith rushed out as quick as he could. My sensors that are in the phones I gave out alerted me that Keith was no longer on the premises any more. That meant he left right after that news.” Pidge’s face was contorted in confusion as they tried to figure out if there was a link. 

Coran’s eyes shot up and he stopped playing with the end of his moustache, remembering how intelligent that gremlin really was. However, before he could change the conversation, Shiro spoke up.

“He has been acting weird for a while now, I am sure that this amount of change is stressful. You also need to remember that Krolia is with Kolivan and his dad died while he was a child. He probably just misses Krolia.”

More than you know. Coran thought as he watched the two converse.

“Wait… Keith’s dad died? Is that who he was visiting at the cemetery? I thought it was like a grandparent or something. I knew his father wasn’t in the picture but I thought that was because he lived far away, or was just not there.”

“Who wasn’t there?”

The three turned around to see Lance standing in the doorway to his room, rubbing his eyes and stretching upwards. He had obviously just got up from sleeping to get a drink, like he usually did at night. He stepped to the open kitchen and grabbed a glass, looking back that the trio expectantly.

“Oh, we were talking bout how Keith wasn’t there when everything with Lotor went down.” Coran’s lie was so perfectly executed that it was rewarded with an amazed look from Pidge.

“Oh, yeah. When he left us. I remember.” He didn’t say anything else, he just finished his drink and headed back into his room. He threw a quick goodnight to everyone before the mechanical door closed behind him.

“Keith leaving was a big thing on Lance, they kept each other busy and entertained. It was always team Punk and Shiro planning with Allura. I admit I also didn’t pay him enough attention. Lance must have felt really hurt.” Coran got up from the sofa and headed towards his own room, telling the others to follow suit. With that he went through the door and headed to a peaceful slumber.

Shiro looked back at Pidge, telling them to do the same before getting up also and heading to his own room. Pidge was the last to leave, quickly documenting Keith’s recent behaviour so that they could keep an eye on him.

The next month was quiet, with the main focus being to rebuild the castle of lions and responding to distress signals. Everything had seemed normal, except the pilot of the Black lion was not the hot headed paladin. Keith had started to become quiet around the team, focusing on building the castle and staying in his room. He had slowly let Shiro lead in Black, every other mission until it became more and more frequent. After a while, muscle memory had Shiro automatically going to pilot, something that Keith didn’t really mind. It meant that he could be alone more. He could focus on building and wiring the castle without the need to go to team meetings or training, not that he did go when asked. 

The boy also was not looking the best either. He had neglected himself drastically after the death of his mother, not caring about the way his stomach called for food or the way his skin became pale and grey. The bags under his eyes made his purple eyes seem brighter, even though in reality they had lost their light ages ago. His pale arms were never in view now, hidden by long black sleeves that were able to cover the evidence of Keith’s inner war with himself. He wasn’t winning, and the dancing lines just made sure to torment him at any time possible.

He was currently working on the defences that Pidge designed for the castle. He had been there since the early morning, eating an apple and skipping lunch in favour of checking the blueprints over for the five hangars for the lions. He was currently under the control panel with his legs sticking out, working on the underside. His sleeves had partly slipped to the middle of his forearm and sweat stuck to his bangs, which couldn’t be held in the ponytail that held the rest of his hair. 

“Keith!”

The boy in question jumped and quickly lowered his arms and dragged himself out from under the panel. He stood up quickly and held his hands down behind his body, tugging at the sleeves to make sure they were way past his wrist. He looked up from the ground and his eyes met Hunk’s. The yellow paladin smiled as he passed a piece of paper over to Keith.

‘For congratulating Voltron on their victorious return, our planet wishes to bestow a gift for each on the 6 paladins.’

“They, they want to reward the six of us? Why?” Keith was genuinely confused at the information, knowing that the way he drew away from the team should be punished and not rewarded.

“Hey buddy, you are still part of the team. Come on, let’s go to the common room, everyone is waiting for movie night.”

Keith wanted to refuse, was going to, but he looked at the way Hunk looked at him. There was a glimpse of need in his eyes, a want for Keith to join everyone. Hunk was trying to help him and he didn’t know how to react, so he just nodded and grabbed his jacket from around his waist and put it on instead. 

Hunk smiled widely, shocked that he was able to persuade Keith to get away from the ship and spend time with the rest of them. He had tried many times before, asking Keith to help him in the kitchen, asking if they could train and movie night. But nothing would work, the pale boy would always look guiltily at the ground and come up with a feeble excuse to go back to his room or the castle. He turned around and waved his hand over his shoulder, inviting Keith to follow him to their common room. Keith complied, picking at the frayed edges of his fingerless gloves as he trailed on. 

They had appeared on his bed one day without a note, just the small blue box and black ribbon. When he had saw the blue box he liked to believe they were from Lance, but why would he give them to Keith if he is head over heels for Allura. He didn’t deserve the sentimental attachments to the piece of clothing, but he was thankful anyway.

When Keith and Hunk entered the common room they were greeted with pillows, blankets and people everywhere.

Pidge had claimed half of the sofa to themselves, but they were obviously waiting for Hunk so that they could use them as a pillow. There were blankets covering them and their laptop was connected by wires to the screen, ready to play whatever film the majority decided. Hunk noticed the spot and instantly slid in.

Allura and Lance were on the other sofa, cuddled near each other, with only a hairline distance between them. The pair’s cheeks were dusted pink as Allura threw a large fluffy white blanket around them. Keith quickly looked away, unconsciously pulling down on his sleeves.

Shiro, Coran and Romelle were on the biggest sofa, chatting about human customs and ways of life. Romelle was fascinated about the idea of carnivals and the idea of bright lights and music with rides that are dangerous but fun. Coran glanced over to Keith and smiled happily, before turning back to Shiro and continuing their discussion of zoos. 

Keith just stood in the room, suddenly being able to feel the carpet through his shoes and the disturbances in the air. The dim lights overhead seemed brighter and the voices chiming in the room were overbearing. 

“Keith? Are you joining us?” Lance looked up at Keith, cocking his head slightly to the side in question. 

Keith nodded deftly and sat down where he stood, which happened to be near Shiro. A blanket and pillow were thrown at him along with movie snacks. Everyone was told to be quiet as the starting credits flashed over the screen and the characters burst into action. 

They all watched it attentively, but every minute that passed, Keith fell more and more into the spiral of darkness and pain. The itch shot up his arm again.

Suddenly, Krolia’s unmoving body was dropped in front of him again. She was a haunting purple colour and her eyes were unfocused and open. Her arm was outstretched, as though she was reaching for him. He wanted to reach out and pull her back to him, but when he did he was back in the cell. Clanging metal and the smell of blood. There was no escape. He closed his eyes and pulled his hair, wishing to leave but he opened his eyes and it was just her. His mother. Lying there without an ounce of life in her. 

He snapped his head back and found that he was back in the common room. He was breathing heavily and scratching his arms to ground himself again. His mother wasn’t there, he wasn’t in the cell. 

Coran and Shiro both looked at Keith in worry but he didn’t care. He bolted up and ran into his room, ignoring the calls and remarks from the others. He curled upon his bed and cradled his knife, intentions clear and brain foggy. He drowned out the banging on his door and slipped into the darkness and pain. Submerging into it like a lost astronaut in space. Alone, scared and hopeless.

After that, Keith refused to hang out at all, only going from his room to the castle. He would eat when completely necessary. The only time he talked to the team was when they were getting ready to leave for the planet. He would any answer questions with yes or no. he didn’t carry on a conversation and sat in the back of Black, relishing in the small connection of support he still had with his lions. Red’s was weak but determined while Black’s was stronger and calming.


	4. I Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sahir have gifted each paladin a wish. Keith decided to make a wish that would change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back baby! It wasn't a year!!!!!  
> the chapter may be shorter but the fic isn't anywhere near done. I  
> have so much more angst to fill out these paragraphs. Enjoy.

The team was talking about what they believed would be the gift that the alien colony Sahir would give them. The main theories were technology and medals, though Lance’s idea of a sentient animal that could fight alongside them in war bought a small smile to his face. 

“Keith? Keith!” Shiro’s voice bought Keith back to reality. He looked up to meet the uncertain eyes of Shiro staring back at him. “We are here, you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Keith watched the screen in the front of the cockpit, the light pink and yellow sand approached quickly as the five lions landed in a large desert like area. 

Keith barley waited for Black to land before heading to the ramp and out, not wanting to be given a pep talk by Shiro.

There were green trees circling the landscape with the Sahir waiting between the trunks. They were mostly humanoid, with pale pink skin and blonde spots that covered their shoulders and cheeks like freckles. They were a little taller than Shiro and wore flowing green robes, making them easily blend in with the forest like trees. The rest of the team approached what seemed to be the leader, judging by the chains and gold jewellery that hung from around their head, neck, wrists and hips. The chains entwined each other at their middle, making a spider web of gold catch the sun with mesmerising shimmers.

“Welcome Voltron and friends to our home. We are the Sahir, a spell casting race that can deliver wishes of what people desire the most.” The leader bowed at the team before raising up again and pointing to a dimly lit path in the forest. “Our village is down that path, where we shall hold the granting ceremony for each of the six paladins of Voltron.”

The Sahir walked towards the trees while the others followed, Keith trailing behind everyone else. 

The village was hidden beneath a canopy is emerald leaves, with rays of sunlight breaking through the veil like lasers. In the centre of the opening was a large fountain like structure with a platform that the leader took residence on.

“On behalf of our race, we have bestowed the gift of a single wish to each of the paladins as a welcome back and thank you for protecting us against evil. We shall start with the one dressed in Blue, then go to Pink, Green, Yellow, Black and finally Red. May the ceremony begin, and let your desires be granted.”

Lance walked out towards the podium, looking at the way the water from the fountain twist and turned, seemingly changing colour before it reached the pool. He thought for a moment, before deciding on what he wanted. 

“I wish I had a phone that could always contact my family, whether there is signal or not.” He was proud of his wish, he loves his family with everything he had, and being able to always be in contact is something he would cherish. 

The leader nodded and raised his hands, making them emit a bright light. When bought back down, there was a cellular device, like their phones on Earth. He dialled his mother’s number, chocking with happiness as her voice filled the speakers.

“Princess Allura.”

Allura copied what Lance did. “I wish for Juniberry flowers like what grew on Altea, ones that would never die.” The flowers were conjured up and given to her carefully.

Pidge wished for ‘A blueprint that would change depending on the desired craft.’ She was handed a large, rolled up, blue piece of paper. When opened, it showed Pidge’s want to build a humanistic robot.

Hunk wished for ‘a cookbook that could translate Earth recipes into alien and alien recipes into human ones.’ It was a hardback book with a shimmering brown cover and leather binding.

“I wish for an orb that allows me to see memories of the past.” Shiro’s wish was a little different to what everyone thought it would be, his arm back. Keith, however, knew that having something that showed his memories would mean that he could see all of the happy times he and Adam shared, before Shiro went up to space.

When given it, Shiro looked into the glass and the memory of Adam proposing to him played, it was in third person, which was kind of strange to witness but the happiness Shiro felt pushed any negativity away.

“Finally, Keith.”

Keith hesitated, he knew what he wanted, but was afraid to ask. His hands trembled as he looked up to the Sahir. His voice was small as he spoke.

“c for my mum back.”

All conversation stopped, with every member of the team confused except Coran, who tensed at his words. He could hear Pidge asking Hunk why he wanted his mother back if she was just a call away.

“Where were the co ordinates of the last time you had contact with her.”

Keith recalled the co ordinates that haunted his dreams. Those numbers that lead to the end of something he cared for. The rest of them noticed the co ordinates matched the planet that Keith got trapped on, the one that self destructed before them. They didn’t see Krolia with them though.

“I am sorry Keith, but my powers cannot bring someone back from the dead.”

The Sahir projected what seemed to be a memory from Keith. He was alone in the cell asking for his mother. The twisted Galra shouted a command and Krolia’s body was thrown like a rag doll at Keith. Everyone watched as Keith was hunched over his mother, crying for her to get up or move. They watched as Keith turned into a Galra himself and kill the commander and his guards. They say the hurt in Keith’s eyes as he had to leave his mother there, watching the building that she lay in descend into the canyon.

They could feel the raw helplessness and suffering that flows through Keith’s veins.

Keith watched in silence before turning to his team, he could see anger for not telling them. Sympathy for the loss of Krolia. Guilt for not noticing his pain. He hated it. He shouldn’t be a burden to them like this, they didn’t deserve it. He thought about Cosmo, who would curl up with him in his room when he cried and sit by his side while he worked. How he took him for granted and left him on Earth with the Garrison.

He had caused so much pain he couldn’t do it any more. They didn’t deserve it. He took one more look at his team before opening his mouth.

“Look after Cosmo for me.”

Lance tried to step forward, arm stretched out in attempt to reach Keith. “What do you mean?”

“I wish that my team mates forget about me.”

The alien hesitates before raising his hands above his head. Lance cried out, trying to grab Keith but it’s too late. Everything freezes. All three Alteans, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro and Lance stood motionless in front of them.

“They will wake soon, for their memories are being untangled. A ship will be prepared for your departure.”

Keith looks back to his team, sadness welling up his eyes. Coran looked as though he was told he would loose his son. Shiro wore the same look he had when Iverson told him that Adam had died while fighting the Galra. Pidge and Hunk wore shock and fear. The pained expression of Lance as he reaches so close to Keith, but not enough. He reaches out and lets his fingers brush Lance’s, warmth spreads through him like wildfire.

Now he would learn to live without the flames.

He let Lance’s hand go and turned to Allura. She had pain and hurt etched on her face but it was not to where he was standing, it was at Lance. It was like the furrowed eyebrows hid both realisation and sadness. To what, Keith would never find out. 

He looked back at the leader, who pointed towards a small shuttle docked and ready to launch. Doubt hovered in Keith’s mind as he looked back at the team one last time. But he couldn’t dwell on it, as their past wouldn’t contain any glimpse of his existence. He had finally been able to erase the burden he inflicted on them.

So why did it hurt?

He walked over to the ship, realising he still had his paladin suit on. Although the best option would be to give it back, the memories linked to the suit meant too much to give up. Helmet in hand, tears in eyes, he boarded the ship and disappeared into the vast graveyard of stars. Beautiful ocean eyes and soft smile convincing his emotions to leave tear tracks down his cheeks.

Slowly, the others began to wake, shaking the foggy feeling out of their minds. Something felt wrong but they couldn’t place the feeling. 

“Paladins. Thank you for protecting us from the Galra. We wish you a pleasant ride home.” The leader of the Sahir bowed before stepping to the side.

“Thank you for our wishes, I hope out coalition brings us together.” Allura spoke with kindness and power.

The group headed back to the lions, stopping at the base of the ramp and looking around. Something was wrong, missing.

Coran was the one who spoke up. “What are we missing?”

“Keith.” Lance spoke without hesitation, looking surprised as the name fell from his mouth.

“Whose Keith?” Shiro felt pain as he asked the question, feeling as though he had once sworn not to forget that name.

“No clue, nice joke Lance.”

They brushed it off and continued to enter the lions. Just as Lance was about to enter Red, one of the Sahir grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

“Do you remember Keith?” There was an urgency in their voice that made lance weary. He nodded slightly.

“Not fully but he does exist right? I just can’t put my finger on it.”

The Sahir grabbed his shoulders and stared into Lance’s eyes with a serious expression. “Focus okay? Try and remember, he doesn’t deserve to be forgotten.”

Lance nods and the Sahir lets him go. With one last look, the alien turned back to their village and Lance continued up the ramp.

He didn’t question what they meant.


	5. Let Me Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been three months since the team forgot about Keith. But Lance discovered something that would lead them back ot him. All the while, Keith has been alone and in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give you angst, its so angsty. there is more angst later. I am surprised i got this chapter done. I just want to warn you that i might not be able to update fr a while because of Exams.  
> Enjoy

It had been 3 months since team Voltron had visited the Sahir and since then, Lance felt as though something was missing. It was as though there was a void left after that trip and the name Keith still hovered in his head. He found himself walking down the Garrison hallways with Cosmo, whose origins still baffled Lance but he loved him anyway.

We found himself drawn to the red lion, as though the contents of her was calling to him, giving him a hint or a clue to a quest he hasn’t uncovered yet. He followed the pull until he found himself in the back of red, where extra storage was placed. There were a few boxes hidden in the corner covered in doodles. They had been hidden at the back for ages, but Lance never opened them. He couldn’t bring himself to throw either.

Cautiously, he opened the top of the box and peered inside. There on the top of the box was a drawing of him, which he found weird but endearing. He lifted it up and placed it gently to the side. Below that, was a page with the entire team drawn with twisting colours and decorations. The perspective was as though it was seen through someone’s eyes. There were small rocks and souvenirs from different planets they visited and Lance knew where each one came from. It was as though a dense fog was clearing. Then, right at the bottom was a framed photo. Lance reached inside and pulled it out before turning it around.

Staring back at him was everyone on team voltron. Allura was on the far left with Coran’s arm over her while he gestured wildly in the air. Next to him, Shiro stood looking to the two people standing in front of him. He was smiling softly at them with a knowing look in his eye. Hunk and Pidge stood on the right side holding a prototype robot they built years ago. Finally, at the front was Lance, smiling with pure joy with his harm wrapped around the shoulders of a smaller person. Said person had their arm around Lance’s waist and a small smirk on his face. The more Lance stared at the boy the more the fog dispersed. Memories came flooding back. Finger-less glove. Holding in their arms. Bonding. Red jacket. Purple eyes. Inky raven locks.

“Keith?”

His heart swelled with an unknown feeling as he ran back through the halls, yelling his team’s names and clutching the photo close to his heart. 

When he skidded over into the common room he saw the others waiting for him. Quickly, he sat everyone down and started explaining what had happened. He pulled out the photo to show it to the others. When Shiro saw the image and recognition shimmered in his eyes, Lance had to look away from the look of guilt and horror on his face.

“I knew something was wrong, if only I listened to that Sahir. They told me to focus and remember but I didn’t. I didn’t care! He lost his mum! He was depressed and he got us to forget him!”

Shiro stood up and placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Calm down Lance, we will find him.”

Pidge already has their laptop up and running. Apparently, years ago, Pidge scanned Keith’s blade to see what properties it had and found that the signal given off can act as a GPS.

They spend weeks looking for any sign of their friend. Hunk noticed that Lance spent less time around Allura, who seemed perplexed by the sudden lack of attention. He would pull away from hugs and stray from kissing her unless she initiated it, to which he would still pull back and help Pidge work. It was clear that the Altean noticed it too. Hunk could remember how Keith was around Lance, how he tried to hard to bond with him but Lance was blinded by the fake rivalry.

He scanned over the maps that were up in front of him and noticed a small frequency buzzing in the rhythm of a heart beat. 

“Hey Lance? I think I got something.”

The Cuban boy wasted no time before running to his side and almost sobbing with joy. The diagnostics of the signal matched that of the blade that Keith owned. Lance sent out a message over their communication devices to tell everyone that Hunk had found where Keith is. 

“The signal is weak, that isn’t good.” Pidge had spent a few minutes working on the signal to see if they could pinpoint the exact location. 

“What does it mean Pidge?” Shiro stood behind them with Cosmo at his feet. It was as though the space wolf knew that his owner was near. Since the trip to the Sahir, the wolf had been more quiet, sticking to either Lance or Shiro and sometimes Pidge.

Pidge sucked in some air before turning around to look up to the others. “It means he’s weak. He’s-”

“Dying.” Lance’s voice broke as he finished what Pidge struggled to say. “We’ve got to go now.”

“Lance, we don’t have a plan-”

Lance cut Allura off, “I don’t care. Keith needs us now.”

Allura looked shocked at Lance’s outburst. She was use to Lance being quite pliant but strong willed, not so assertive.

Shiro took one last look at the map in front of him before nodding and telling everyone to head to their lions.

He was one of the last ones in the lab and was about to leave when Coran pulled him to the side. The older Altean held onto Shiro’s shoulders and looked into his eyes with such fear.

“Please, save my boy. Bring him home.” 

Shiro paused for a second before nodding and bringing Coran in for a hug, which the Altean quickly reciprocated. 

As he sat in Black ready to take off, Coran’s words really sunk in. He saw everyone on the team as a child, placing himself in care of them all. But in reality, it was only Keith and Allura that didn’t have any parents any more. Coran assigned himself parental figure to Keith and then learnt that for three months he forgot about him. Shiro had heard Coran talk about his daughter that was lost all those years ago and he probably felt the same grief again.

“Okay team, the co ordinates lead us to a Galra base so we need to be alert.”

They flew in quiet, the only sound being Hunk occasionally telling himself to stay calm and Lance talking to Cosmo about anything he can.

Faintly in the background, you could hear Shiro whisper, “Please be okay.”

“There!” Allura shouted over the coms. In the distance, a planet with a large Galra base stood strong. 

They manoeuvred the loins in a remote area before departing and scouting the area. They knew Keith was in the building but they wanted to make sure they could get rid of as many soldiers as possible. 

“Okay team, we are going to need to split up to search for Keith. Pidge, you and lance will check the dungeons, use your tech smarts to release as many prisoners as possible. Allura, Hunk and I will take out as many soldiers as possible and try to take down the base through the control room.”

They headed off in their designated directions. Pidge use their small stature to take out close enemies while Lance covered them from more of a distance. Without much difficulty, they were able to make it to the holding cells.

“Okay Pidge, left or right?”

“Right.”

“Okay, I’ll go left. If you find him, call me and I will be right there. Same if I find him.”

Lance wandered the rows of cages and cells, grimacing at the horrific sights of cold hard floors and walls. The stench of blood hung strong in the air. 

There was no one else in any of the cells and the doors were open. But, right at the end of the hall there was a tight bolt on the door. Lance sped up to reach it and when he got there he nearly broke down in tears.

Keith was inside, stripped of his armour and left in only the tattered remains of his under suit. Parts of the sleeves are missing as are the legs, showing off the horror beneath them. He was battered and bruised, with his skin pained like a cynical canvas. Green, brown and purple danced across his skin, parted by the dried rivers of blood that stained his once pale skin. There was blood everywhere, not just on him but on the walls and floor as well. His hair, once shiny and soft now matted and clogged in his own blood.

He was cowered in the corner with a large metal chain fastened around his neck, leaving marks on his skin. The chain was attached to the bars of the cage, where the Galra could obviously force Keith to them. There wasn’t anything else on the room, not even a blanket and a food tray was left abandoned outside by Lance’s feet, just out of Keith’s reach.

“Pidge, I found him...”

Cautiously, he undid the lock and opened the door. He cringed at the sight of Keith flinching away. He walked up and knelt next to the boy. 

“Hey man, we’ve gotta get going now okay?”

Keith shook his head and curled up into a smaller ball. “N-not again please I-I can’t do it again.”

Lance lent closer and gently touched Keith’s cheek. Said boy’s head shot up in fear and panicked eyes met Lance’s. Slowly, Lance lead his hand down to the chain around Keith’s neck and used the tools in his suit to undo the clamp. As he did so, he felt tears drop onto his hand.

“Hey, hey now it’s okay Keith. I’m here. We are going home.”

Keith met Lance’s eyes again, the once vibrant purple iris’ now dull and emotionless.

“Please just let me die.”

With that, it was as though all of the energy Keith had vanished and he fell limp against Lance. He could hear commotion over the coms and Pidge’s footsteps coming up the corridor.

“I’ve got him let’s go.”

Shiro’s voice told the rest of them that they found Keith’s blade and the rest of the armour in the control room. He said to meet them on a planet on the edge of the next solar system over to ensure they were safe.

Pidge caught up to Lance and started crying at the sight of the boy practically dead in Lance’s arms. He looked so small and fragile. Lance tightened his grip slightly at the thought.

When they got to the lions, Pidge hesitated before giving Keith’s hand a squeeze. They then ran into Green and set off. Lance was more careful. Red could sense that something with her cubs was wrong so she followed Green on auto pilot, letting Lance hold onto Keith and make sure he was okay.

It was clear he was not.

The planet got into view and Lance could see the other 4 lions waiting. He debated cleaning Keith up a bit, but that would be easier in Blue, where the emergency pod was installed.

Once Red had landed, he gathered Keith up in his arms again and positioned him as though he was carrying a sleeping child. He walked down the ramp and was bombarded by the others.

“Guys move! He needs a pod now!”

“Allura, Pidge, you scout the area to see of there are any supplies in the area. Hunk, you gather what we have from the lions and meet us in Blue. We will need you to help get Keith ready for the pod. Lance, you and I will clean him up and get him in the pod.” Shiro stepped out of the way and followed closely behind Lance to where Blue was standing. She opened her jaw instantly for the two paladins to walk in. 

Lance placed Keith down on a large bench and helped Shiro get rid of the under suit. Lance would have blushed but he didn’t care at that moment, he just wanted Keith safe. As he pulled the last of the suit off he heard Keith groan in pain.

“Damn, he’s awake. We need Hunk!” Shiro started panicking before the yellow paladin made an entrance.

“I’m here, sorry I wanted to make sure I had everything.” Hunk laid out everything he collected and grabbed one of the yellow syringes. He plunged it into Keith’s arm and watched a the liquid lit up his veins for a moment before dimming. “That should knock him out long enough for us to get him in the pod.”

They continued to clean him, watching as the white cloths turned red and the damage on his skin became more apparent. Lance looked after Keith’s hair, cleaning it of the blood and checking his scalp for an injuries. There were a few but the pod could heal with them. He sat there brushing the inky locks as Shiro whipped the tattered pale skin of his younger brother.

“Oh Keith, I’m so sorry.” Shiro let the tears fall finally, some landing on his brother, but he quickly washed them away. 

They carefully placed him in a pod suit and lowered him into the heading pod. Once the door shit they headed over to they diagnostic tablet to see the extent of the damage. Just as they loaded the data, the other two came into the room.

Allura walked up to Lance and wrapped her arms around him, frowning slightly as he didn’t move. “How is he?” 

“According to the diagnostic, he had broken bones, he’s severely malnourished and dehydrated. He has lost a lot of blood. This amount of damage would have come from… months of abuse.”

Pidge walked up to the pod and then turned back to the others. “He was only gone three months, he probably got captured not long after leaving.

Shiro looked to his team then back at Keith. “Let’s go back to Earth, we can treat him better there.”

The ride home was more tense than heading to the base, as they knew the pain that Keith had endured. Both physical and psychological.

Coran was waiting for them when they got back. He climbed into Blue to retrieve Keith, as he knew the most about the pods. Allura helped and couldn’t help her heart tightening as she heard Coran talk to the unconscious boy.

“Hey my boy, let’s get you patched up. My son, you will survive this.”

They placed him in a hospital room and set him up to all of the correct equipment. When it was decided that he was in no real danger of dying, they woke him up.

Keith blinked at the harsh light that greeted his eyes. There were no lights in his cell which made him panic but he couldn’t move. He opened them again to take in his surroundings.

“Keith?”

Said boy saw his entire team standing there. He was scared and confused. They should have forgotten him. Why are they here. He doesn’t want this. He feels the tears trickle down his cheeks as he realises that he failed to remove himself from their lives. That he failed everything.

He turned his face away from everyone again, feeling the pain in his arms burn. He heard them try and talk to him but he only had one thing to say.

“Let me die.”

The team took shifts to watch Keith and make sure that he didn’t hurt himself or go into a critical condition. It was during Pidge’s shift that everyone decided to turn up instead. Keith had let his guard down a little with Pidge as they didn’t ask questions. He didn’t notice that his sleeved had rolled up in his sleep.

Hunk was the first to notice, Keith saw him elbow Shiro and send a glance to his wrists. He wasn’t quick enough though, as Lance caught onto the action and ran to his bed.

“Keith, buddy, did you do these?” There was fear in Lance’s voice, as though he was scared of the answer that was so obvious.

But Keith didn’t care. He felt so empty, with all of his memories sitting with him on the bed with no outlet. He couldn't train so the dark feelings built up inside him.

Keith just stared ahead, looking at the blank wall before opening his mouth.

“Oh, you noticed.”


End file.
